| As a recruiter in the restaurant industry, I see | | | | language. Be sure to pepper your conversation with a |
| candidates or job seekers do stupid things in the | | | | few f-bombs to complete your idiot tendencies. |
| interview all day long. Obviously, we all have an idiot | | | | Nothing says you're an idiot like bad language in an |
| gene hidden in our bodies waiting to emerge | | | | interview. |
| somewhere down the road. If you really want to be an | | | | Make sure you trash talk or beat up your old boss in |
| idiot and NOT get that new position or career | | | | every response. In the seventh step you want to |
| opportunity you dream of follow these actions. | | | | concentrate on how bad you hated that guy and why. |
| The first step in being a complete idiot is to arrive late. | | | | This will surely tell them that you have no bounds |
| This could be 5 minutes or an hour just make sure | | | | when it comes to revealing things to complete |
| you're late. Nothing says, "I don't care about this | | | | outsiders and you are basically a very negative |
| position", like being late. | | | | person. |
| Step two is to be rude to everyone at the interview. | | | | Then in the eighth step beg them to not contact your |
| This could be the host or server who greets you as | | | | previous employer about the funds you embezzled or |
| you enter or anyone else employed by the company. | | | | the food you stole. Nothing says you're an idiot more |
| To be effective just be mean to everyone, which will | | | | than implying a guilty conscious that is hiding something |
| really tell them that you're a complete idiot who can't | | | | critical to them hiring you. |
| get along with anyone! | | | | Make sure you lie about your accomplishments in the |
| Third, please make sure you answer all interview | | | | ninth step. An idiot lies about all of them! Tell them how |
| questions with very short and abrupt responses. Don't | | | | you cured cancer and invented the Internet or anything |
| take anytime to go into your answers. Pretend you | | | | else they want to hear. A complete idiot doesn't care |
| are on Jeopardy and answer all questions with | | | | about credibility or reference checks anyway. Even |
| questions. That could be fun and that will surely tell | | | | better tell them you didn't have any labor costs |
| them you are an idiot who always runs with the pack | | | | because you paid everyone with cash. |
| and has no leadership potential whatsoever. | | | | Finally when the interview gets up and is ready to |
| Fourth, for the sake of being an idiot, make sure you | | | | shake hands, don't bother! Storm out of there like a bat |
| don't ask any questions about the position or the | | | | out of hell and never look back. Nothing says you're an |
| company. Don't bring up goals or plans in the future | | | | idiot like being impolite and displaying no manners. |
| because you will have plenty of time to think about | | | | Mission accomplished! |
| those things later. Really show them you don't care | | | | Now obviously, this was written to assist you in the |
| about their company by saying you dined at a | | | | pursuit of happiness and to find that next great career. |
| competitor the other day and loved it! | | | | By doing the exact opposite of these actions, you will |
| In the fifth step, when they ask about yourself pretend | | | | find yourself at the beginning of the road to preparation |
| you're in a holding cell and stone wall them until your | | | | to land that dream job. Just remember be kind and |
| lawyer gets there. Whatever you do don't be | | | | courteous to others, be formal and professional, be on |
| forthcoming about anything or discuss your abilities. If | | | | time, be honest and open with your answers and |
| you absolutely have to be an idiot tell them about | | | | market your abilities whenever you can in an interview. |
| childhood experiences and your first pet. | | | | And don't be an idiot! |
| The sixth is all about cussing and using inappropriate | | | | |