| You've probably read it a 100 times. | | | | injury, aggression or depression. Males, |
| | | | being lunch chasers, were never around the |
| "The battle is either won or lost before it | | | | cave long enough to read nonverbal signals or |
| begins." That's Sun Tzu - the brilliant, | | | | the ways of interpersonal communication." |
| ancient military strategist. | | | | |
| | | | In other words, women are EXPERTS at reading |
| You've learned it from the best sports | | | | signifiers. So you need to become expert in |
| coaches - the game is won or lost before it | | | | how you deploy them! |
| begins. | | | | |
| | | | Far and away the most important set of |
| From outstanding athletes, attorneys, | | | | signifiers you send are those that convey |
| political candidates - mental preparation and | | | | weakness or strength in a man. At reading |
| a commitment of the spirit to victory before | | | | these, women are Einsteins. They are |
| the game, the trial, the election, will often | | | | bloodhounds, they are nuclear-powered |
| determine victory. | | | | Weakness Sniffing Machines. |
| | | | |
| You are entering an arena right now. As real | | | | That's their job. That's their wiring. Don't |
| as a boxing ring, a tennis court, a | | | | fight it. As the Taoists like to say, "ride |
| courtroom, a job interview. | | | | the horse in the direction in which it is |
| | | | going." Roll with it. Smartly. |
| Your playing partner may not in the same room | | | | |
| as you, but she is in your arena. And you | | | | What's your lesson here? |
| need the same mental preparation that an | | | | |
| athlete needs to triumph in any arena. | | | | Women often say they like vulnerability in a |
| | | | man. But don't make the mistake of confusing |
| Now it's time to make an important mental | | | | vulnerability and weakness. Without |
| shift. Are you ready? | | | | understanding this key difference, you are |
| | | | sunk! |
| There is a competition going on in this | | | | |
| arena, yes. But you are not competing against | | | | Men who succeed online are careful to build a |
| women to "beat them" into getting them into | | | | structure with their photos and with their |
| bed. | | | | opening profile lines of |
| | | | |
| The competition is with yourself. It is to | | | | Strength |
| see if you defeat, or let go of your lesser | | | | |
| self, and craft your best self by first | | | | Authenticity |
| mastering the signifiers with which you | | | | |
| represent yourself. | | | | Reliability |
| | | | |
| The women at the other end of the fiber optic | | | | Trustworthiness and |
| cable are not "enemies" to "conquered, but | | | | |
| your allies in mutual joy and exploration. | | | | The moral high ground |
| Women want you to be an awesome, attentive, | | | | |
| strong guy. Offer her that, and victory is | | | | These signifiers must be delivered in both a |
| both of yours. | | | | subtle and sure-handed way. |
| | | | |
| But there's one thing you need to know about | | | | Step Two, then, is to lay in the vulnerable |
| women. | | | | center, or what women call "heart." |
| | | | |
| They are much smarter than you. | | | | It is to your advantage that dating sites are |
| | | | rife with guys who open by calling themselves |
| According to Barbara and Allen Pease, who | | | | things like, "NiceGuy643" or "ANiceMan" or |
| wrote Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't | | | | "YourMomWillLikeMe." |
| Read Maps, while men need to witness tears or | | | | |
| a temper tantrum or be slapped on the face | | | | They think they are being cute, but they are, |
| before he even has a clue that anything is | | | | to put a fine point on it - repulsive to |
| going on... | | | | women. Women can "sniff out" the desperation, |
| | | | the neediness, the submissiveness of these |
| "As childbearers and nest defenders, women | | | | men. They start weak and women rarely read |
| needed the ability to sense subtle mood and | | | | past the first lines. |
| attitude changes in others. What is commonly | | | | |
| called 'women's intuition' is mostly a | | | | Strength first, vulnerability second. |
| woman's acute ability to notice small details | | | | Sprinkled with humor, and subtle promises of |
| and changes in the appearance or behavior of | | | | sensual wakefulness and - most importantly - |
| others... Nest defenders, to safeguard their | | | | a life more exciting than theirs, and you |
| family's survival, needed to be able to pick | | | | will find that success is only a simple click |
| up small changes in the behavior of their | | | | away. |
| offspring that could signal pain, hunger, | | | | |