Online Dating: How To Outflank 90% of Your Competition

You've probably read it a 100 times.injury, aggression or depression. Males, being lunch
"The battle is either won or lost before it begins."chasers, were never around the cave long enough to
That's Sun Tzu - the brilliant, ancient military strategist.read nonverbal signals or the ways of interpersonal
You've learned it from the best sports coaches - thecommunication."
game is won or lost before it begins.In other words, women are EXPERTS at reading
From outstanding athletes, attorneys, politicalsignifiers. So you need to become expert in how you
candidates - mental preparation and a commitment ofdeploy them!
the spirit to victory before the game, the trial, theFar and away the most important set of signifiers you
election, will often determine victory.send are those that convey weakness or strength in a
You are entering an arena right now. As real as aman. At reading these, women are Einsteins. They are
boxing ring, a tennis court, a courtroom, a job interview.bloodhounds, they are nuclear-powered Weakness
Your playing partner may not in the same room asSniffing Machines.
you, but she is in your arena. And you need the sameThat's their job. That's their wiring. Don't fight it. As the
mental preparation that an athlete needs to triumph inTaoists like to say, "ride the horse in the direction in
any arena.which it is going." Roll with it. Smartly.
Now it's time to make an important mental shift. AreWhat's your lesson here?
you ready?Women often say they like vulnerability in a man. But
There is a competition going on in this arena, yes. Butdon't make the mistake of confusing vulnerability and
you are not competing against women to "beat them"weakness. Without understanding this key difference,
into getting them into bed.you are sunk!
The competition is with yourself. It is to see if youMen who succeed online are careful to build a
defeat, or let go of your lesser self, and craft yourstructure with their photos and with their opening profile
best self by first mastering the signifiers with whichlines of
you represent yourself.Strength
The women at the other end of the fiber optic cableAuthenticity
are not "enemies" to "conquered, but your allies inReliability
mutual joy and exploration. Women want you to be anTrustworthiness and
awesome, attentive, strong guy. Offer her that, andThe moral high ground
victory is both of yours.These signifiers must be delivered in both a subtle and
But there's one thing you need to know about women.sure-handed way.
They are much smarter than you.Step Two, then, is to lay in the vulnerable center, or
According to Barbara and Allen Pease, who wrotewhat women call "heart."
Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps,It is to your advantage that dating sites are rife with
while men need to witness tears or a temper tantrumguys who open by calling themselves things like,
or be slapped on the face before he even has a clue"NiceGuy643" or "ANiceMan" or "YourMomWillLikeMe."
that anything is going on...They think they are being cute, but they are, to put a
"As childbearers and nest defenders, women neededfine point on it - repulsive to women. Women can "sniff
the ability to sense subtle mood and attitude changesout" the desperation, the neediness, the
in others. What is commonly called 'women's intuition' issubmissiveness of these men. They start weak and
mostly a woman's acute ability to notice small detailswomen rarely read past the first lines.
and changes in the appearance or behavior of others...Strength first, vulnerability second. Sprinkled with humor,
Nest defenders, to safeguard their family's survival,and subtle promises of sensual wakefulness and -
needed to be able to pick up small changes in themost importantly - a life more exciting than theirs, and
behavior of their offspring that could signal pain, hunger,you will find that success is only a simple click away.