| Have you ever met someone who was prickly, | | | | year? --> Can you tell me about an experience or |
| obstinate, and determined to do or say the opposite of | | | | project you worked on that stood out for you this |
| whatever you did? Now how about the opposite, | | | | year? |
| where you and this other person got along so well and | | | | Find out something about the interviewer and build a |
| agreed on so much that you seemed to be on the | | | | conversation around it - even if you have little direct |
| "same wavelength?" | | | | knowledge of that specific subject. For instance, if he |
| What was the difference between the two people | | | | mentions a weekend passion for Civil War re-enacting, |
| and how they made you feel? And what on earth | | | | you could talk about the Lincoln biography you read |
| does it have to do with impressing a job interviewer? | | | | last summer. If she mentions an upcoming vacation to |
| The difference is that Person No. 2 found one or more | | | | Paris, you can mention your love of the French |
| elements of common ground between the two of you, | | | | language and how you studied it for years in school. |
| and tilled it -- diligently. | | | | Some people might ask, is this a manipulative way to |
| Person No. 1, "The Jerk," let's call him, retained a | | | | interact with people? Only to the same extent that |
| self-centered focus throughout the likely short | | | | being an expert race car driver is "manipulative" of |
| conversation, never venturing to consider or ask about | | | | cars; or knowing how to pick stocks is manipulative of |
| your experience, opinion, or feelings. | | | | the market. |
| It has to do with the very real phenomenon that if you | | | | Having an expert grasp of the tools of communication |
| can make someone feel good about himself or herself, | | | | is no different. It's how you get ahead of people who |
| you can make that person walk away with a great | | | | are focused just on themselves. The key is that you |
| feeling about you. | | | | must take a sincere interest in the person or people |
| The way to do that when you're being interviewed | | | | with whom you're dealing. And your proposition must |
| might seem counterintuitive when you read it here. But | | | | be win-win. Most people can spot a phony from |
| know that it works. The way you make them feel | | | | several blocks away. |
| great about you is to ask the other person questions, | | | | Practice Makes Mastery |
| then shut up and listen. It's counterintuitive because isn't | | | | Practice this next time you're engaged in any |
| the idea of an interview for someone to find out more | | | | conversation - resist the urge to go into "Jerk Mode" |
| about you? Ostensibly, yes. But human nature is such | | | | and blather on about yourself; instead let the other |
| that people invariably like to have an audience and | | | | person do the work. Assist with a few well-placed |
| then talk about themselves. | | | | questions. |
| Overview of an Interview | | | | By the time you take this simple but rare |
| Remember that it's a conversation, not an interrogation. | | | | communications skill into your next job interview, you'll |
| So ask questions. Be sure to highlight your previous | | | | already be in much better position to ace the interview |
| accomplishments, but avoid talking about yourself the | | | | than the "I"-focused candidate. |
| entire time. | | | | Bonus: When it's time to write your thank you notes to |
| Funnel your questions for the interviewer from the | | | | the people who interviewed you, you'll have a rich |
| general to the specific: What's it like to work here? | | | | trove of personal snippets to remind each interviewer |
| --> What's your major business plan focus this | | | | of the unique conversation you shared! |