| I bet you have some employees,
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| | solutions to problems they encounter.In
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| colleagues, family or friends who are
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| | fact, if you hire an applicant who scores
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| crybabies.Definition: In our SPONTANEOUS
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| | high on Objective Reactions and also high
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| OPTIMISM(R) book, we define a pessimist
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| | on Optimism, you will have hired a
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| as someone who loves to do three things:
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| | mature, adult-like employee who exhibits
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| 1. Complain
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| | resiliency and hardiness despite
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| 2. Blame
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| | roadblocks.Interestingly, when we conduct
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| 3. MoanThey are "Loser Magnets" -
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| | "benchmarking studies" to identify the
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| because they magnetically attract other
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| | FORECASTER (TM) Test scores of superstar
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| pessimists and crybabies who love to
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| | employees, we quite often find superstars
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| complain, blame, and moan.In fact, they
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| | in many jobs in many companies score high
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| are "Emotional Vampires" who cherish
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| | on both Objective Reactions and
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| every opportunity you give them to suck
| |
| | Optimism.HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR
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| the good feelings right out of your
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| | RESILIENCY & HARDINESS?If you feel upset
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| skull.ADULT TANTRUMSIf you think about
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| | or "bent out of shape" when you encounter
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| it, an adult who wallows in complaining,
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| | roadblocks - or when someone gives you a
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| blaming and moaning is, in reality,
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| | hard time - here is what you can do to
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| throwing the adult version of a child's
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| | handle it successfully.First, focus on
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| temper tantrum. An upset child will cry
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| | the facts. One BEHAVIOR FORECASTER (TM)
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| and kick and scream. Well, adults cannot
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| | Test scale is Feeling-Focused vs.
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| do such "childish" actions. So, they do
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| | Fact-Focused. It tells managers whether
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| the more pseudo-intelligent thing: They
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| | an applicant likes to focus on feelings,
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| 1. love to list anything that goes
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| | emotions and personal topics (i.e., like
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| wrong (complain)
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| | a social worker) or focus on facts and
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| 2. point fingers at how someone else
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| | nitty-gritty details (i.e., like an
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| goofed up (blame)
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| | accountant or engineer).Problem: Imagine
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| 3. wallow in the emotional mud for as
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| | the last time you got upset and threw an
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| long as anyone listens
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| | "adult tantrum." Most likely, you let
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| (moan)Recommendation: The next time you
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| | yourself flounder in a Feeling-Focused
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| see an adult "bent out of shape," pause
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| | mode.Solution: To handle a crisis or
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| for a moment. Realize you are witnessing
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| | difficulty in a mature, down-to-earth,
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| the adult version of a child's
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| | pragmatic manner, you need to switch your
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| tantrum.ARE YOU "PLAYING HOUSE"?Remember:
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| | brain into a Fact-Focused mode. After
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| If you ever lapse into considering
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| | you listing the facts, you need to
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| whether to tolerate an employee's
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| | conjure up solutions. By focusing on
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| whining, complaining, blaming and
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| | facts of the bothersome situation, you
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| moaning, you absolutely must remember
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| | can succeed in figuring out how to handle
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| these four points:
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| | the problem, pick yourself up, and
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| 1. This is not a game.
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| | implement your solution.Tip: "Focus on
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| 2. You are not playing house.
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| | what you want - not on what you do not
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| 3. You are not operating a counseling
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| | want"-- Dr. Michael Mercer & Dr. Mary
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| center.
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| | Troiani inSPONTANEOUS OPTIMISM(R)
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| 4. You are running a business - and
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| | bookSecond, don't play victim. Remember:
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| that requires you to focus on your
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| | People only can step on you if you keep
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| mission to improve profits and
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| | lying under their feet! So, if you
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| productivity.INTERESTING - BUT USELESS -
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| | allowed someone to play the monster role
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| RESEARCHInteresting research: Salvidore
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| | while you play the victim role, do what
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| Maddi, Ph.D., professor at U. of
| |
| | an optimistic person does: Take personal
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| California - Irvine, studied 450
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| | responsibility for solving your
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| executives to find out how they handled
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| | predicament, rather than just
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| various "stresses" on-the-job. About 2/3
| |
| | complaining, blaming and moaning about
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| handled stress poorly, and 1/3 handled it
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| | the monster. And - most importantly -
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| well. A large percentage of the people
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| | stand up for yourself.YOU CAN TRANSFORM
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| who handled work-related stress well had
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| | CRYBABIES INTO ADULTS ON-THE-JOBI can
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| this in common: As children, they
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| | read your minds! I know some of you
|
| experienced extremely "disruptive
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| | "Managing to Succeed (TM) " Newsletter
|
| stresses early in life," typically in
| |
| | readers are saying, "Well, I handle
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| their family life.Useless aspect of this
| |
| | obstacles objectively and optimistically
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| research: It is illegal - and
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| | with a fact-focused attention to
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| unprofessional - to ask job applicants
| |
| | analyzing and solving the problem. But,
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| about non-work activities. As such, you
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| | what do I do about people around me who
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| should not ask an applicant if s/he
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| | are pessimistic crybabies?"Here is
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| experienced "disruptive stresses early in
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| | exactly what you need to do. The next
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| life." You are not even supposed to ask
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| | time that crybaby strolls into your
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| about an applicant's family experiences.
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| | office and starts complaining, blaming
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| That would be a non-work-related
| |
| | and moaning about something, nicely say
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| question. (Note: Even if you did ask,
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| | to the person: "I realize that bothers
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| it is doubtful the applicant would tell
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| | you. Now, please tell me what the
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| you about sticky childhood or family
| |
| | possible solution is."The pessimistic
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| experiences, anyway!)However, of course,
| |
| | crybaby most likely will respond by
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| you crave to hire people who handle well
| |
| | saying, "I don't know!"Then, you look the
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| the roadblocks they encounter on-
| |
| | person in the eye as you nicely but
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| the-job. These roadblocks include
| |
| | firmly ask, "Well, if you did know the
|
| failure, rejection, not making a sale,
| |
| | solution, what would it be?"In other
|
| not achieving a goal, or someone giving
| |
| | words, you are teaching the crybaby to do
|
| the employee a hard time.HOW TO HIRE
| |
| | exactly what optimistic, objective adults
|
| HARDY, RESILIENT EMPLOYEESSince you
| |
| | do: Focus on solutions - not on
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| cannot ask non-work-related questions in
| |
| | problems. Superstars in all walks of
|
| a job interview, what can you do to hire
| |
| | life invest the huge majority of their
|
| applicants who - when they encounter
| |
| | time focusing on solutions - not on
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| work difficulties - readily pick
| |
| | problems.In fact, you may be the first
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| themselves up, figure out how to do
| |
| | human being who ever showed the
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| better next time, and move on.In fact, in
| |
| | pessimistic, upset crybaby how to handle
|
| my HOW WINNERS DO IT book and speeches, I
| |
| | roadblocks and difficulties like an
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| emphasize, "The main difference between a
| |
| | objective, optimistic adult.Note: You
|
| winner and a loser is a winner picks
| |
| | will not transform them by doing this
|
| himself up exactly one more time than a
| |
| | only once. I discovered I need to do
|
| loser!"Question: So, how can you spot an
| |
| | this 10 or more times with a crybaby
|
| applicant who will "pick himself up
| |
| | before the person finally learns - at
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| exactly one more time?"Solution: On the
| |
| | least in my presence - to focus on
|
| BEHAVIOR FORECASTER (TM) Test, we have
| |
| | solutions - not on complaining, blaming
|
| two scales that help you predict which
| |
| | and moaning about problems.In the
|
| applicants handle obstacles well -
| |
| | outcome, you help a crybaby transform
|
| Subjective Reactions vs. Objective
| |
| | into an adult. Plus, you help your
|
| Reactions
| |
| | company and yourself by transforming one
|
| Pessimism vs. OptimismOn the Subjective
| |
| | more employee into a more optimistic,
|
| Reactions vs. Objective Reactions scale,
| |
| | "can-do," confident person.© Copyright
|
| someone who scores low (i.e., Subjective
| |
| | 2005 Michael Mercer, Ph.D.Michael Mercer,
|
| Reactions) tends to be a person who gets
| |
| | Ph.D., is a consultant, speaker, and
|
| upset, "bent out of shape," acts like a
| |
| | founder of The Mercer Group, Inc. in
|
| crybaby, or throws the adult version of a
| |
| | Barrington, Illinois. Dr. Mercer's
|
| tantrum when things do not go their way
| |
| | "Abilities & Behavior Forecaster (TM) "
|
| they like. In contrast, someone who
| |
| | pre-employment tests are used by
|
| scores high on this scale (i.e.,
| |
| | companies across North America. He has
|
| Objective Reactions) tends to take
| |
| | trained over 5,000 managers in how to
|
| difficulties in stride, figure out
| |
| | interview job applicants. Dr. Mercer
|
| solutions, and move ahead in a mature,
| |
| | authored "Hire the Best -- & Avoid the
|
| adult-like manner.On the Optimism scale,
| |
| | Rest (TM) " and also "Absolutely Fabulous
|
| people who score low (i.e., Pessimistic)
| |
| | Organizational Change (TM) ". You can
|
| love to complain, blame, and moan. In
| |
| | subscribe for free to his management
|
| contrast, applicants who score high on
| |
| | e-newsletter at today and you can
|
| this scale (i.e., Optimistic) prove to be
| |
| | receive a 14-page Special Report
|
| confident, self-responsibly, "can-do"
| |
| | entitled, "Hire Productive, Profitable &
|
| people who thrive on figuring out
| |
| | Honest Employees".
|
