| I bet you have some employees, colleagues, family or | | | | "can-do" people who thrive on figuring out solutions to |
| friends who are crybabies.Definition: In our | | | | problems they encounter.In fact, if you hire an applicant |
| SPONTANEOUS OPTIMISM(R) book, we define a | | | | who scores high on Objective Reactions and also high |
| pessimist as someone who loves to do three things: | | | | on Optimism, you will have hired a mature, adult-like |
| 1. Complain | | | | employee who exhibits resiliency and hardiness despite |
| 2. Blame | | | | roadblocks.Interestingly, when we conduct |
| 3. MoanThey are "Loser Magnets" - because they | | | | "benchmarking studies" to identify the FORECASTER |
| magnetically attract other pessimists and crybabies | | | | (TM) Test scores of superstar employees, we quite |
| who love to complain, blame, and moan.In fact, they | | | | often find superstars in many jobs in many companies |
| are "Emotional Vampires" who cherish every | | | | score high on both Objective Reactions and |
| opportunity you give them to suck the good feelings | | | | Optimism.HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR |
| right out of your skull.ADULT TANTRUMSIf you think | | | | RESILIENCY & HARDINESS?If you feel upset or "bent |
| about it, an adult who wallows in complaining, blaming | | | | out of shape" when you encounter roadblocks - or |
| and moaning is, in reality, throwing the adult version of | | | | when someone gives you a hard time - here is what |
| a child's temper tantrum. An upset child will cry and | | | | you can do to handle it successfully.First, focus on the |
| kick and scream. Well, adults cannot do such "childish" | | | | facts. One BEHAVIOR FORECASTER (TM) Test |
| actions. So, they do the more pseudo-intelligent thing: | | | | scale is Feeling-Focused vs. Fact-Focused. It tells |
| They | | | | managers whether an applicant likes to focus on |
| 1. love to list anything that goes wrong (complain) | | | | feelings, emotions and personal topics (i.e., like a social |
| 2. point fingers at how someone else goofed up | | | | worker) or focus on facts and nitty-gritty details (i.e., |
| (blame) | | | | like an accountant or engineer).Problem: Imagine the |
| 3. wallow in the emotional mud for as long as anyone | | | | last time you got upset and threw an "adult tantrum." |
| listens (moan)Recommendation: The next time you | | | | Most likely, you let yourself flounder in a |
| see an adult "bent out of shape," pause for a moment. | | | | Feeling-Focused mode.Solution: To handle a crisis or |
| Realize you are witnessing the adult version of a child's | | | | difficulty in a mature, down-to-earth, pragmatic manner, |
| tantrum.ARE YOU "PLAYING HOUSE"?Remember: If | | | | you need to switch your brain into a Fact-Focused |
| you ever lapse into considering whether to tolerate an | | | | mode. After you listing the facts, you need to conjure |
| employee's whining, complaining, blaming and moaning, | | | | up solutions. By focusing on facts of the bothersome |
| you absolutely must remember these four points: | | | | situation, you can succeed in figuring out how to handle |
| 1. This is not a game. | | | | the problem, pick yourself up, and implement your |
| 2. You are not playing house. | | | | solution.Tip: "Focus on what you want - not on what |
| 3. You are not operating a counseling center. | | | | you do not want"-- Dr. Michael Mercer & Dr. Mary |
| 4. You are running a business - and that requires you | | | | Troiani inSPONTANEOUS OPTIMISM(R) bookSecond, |
| to focus on your mission to improve profits and | | | | don't play victim. Remember: People only can step on |
| productivity.INTERESTING - BUT USELESS - | | | | you if you keep lying under their feet! So, if you |
| RESEARCHInteresting research: Salvidore Maddi, Ph.D., | | | | allowed someone to play the monster role while you |
| professor at U. of California - Irvine, studied 450 | | | | play the victim role, do what an optimistic person does: |
| executives to find out how they handled various | | | | Take personal responsibility for solving your |
| "stresses" on-the-job. About 2/3 handled stress poorly, | | | | predicament, rather than just complaining, blaming and |
| and 1/3 handled it well. A large percentage of the | | | | moaning about the monster. And - most importantly - |
| people who handled work-related stress well had this | | | | stand up for yourself.YOU CAN TRANSFORM |
| in common: As children, they experienced extremely | | | | CRYBABIES INTO ADULTS ON-THE-JOBI can read |
| "disruptive stresses early in life," typically in their family | | | | your minds! I know some of you "Managing to |
| life.Useless aspect of this research: It is illegal - and | | | | Succeed (TM) " Newsletter readers are saying, "Well, I |
| unprofessional - to ask job applicants about non-work | | | | handle obstacles objectively and optimistically with a |
| activities. As such, you should not ask an applicant if s | | | | fact-focused attention to analyzing and solving the |
| he experienced "disruptive stresses early in life." You | | | | problem. But, what do I do about people around me |
| are not even supposed to ask about an applicant's | | | | who are pessimistic crybabies?"Here is exactly what |
| family experiences. That would be a non-work-related | | | | you need to do. The next time that crybaby strolls into |
| question. (Note: Even if you did ask, it is doubtful the | | | | your office and starts complaining, blaming and |
| applicant would tell you about sticky childhood or family | | | | moaning about something, nicely say to the person: "I |
| experiences, anyway!)However, of course, you crave | | | | realize that bothers you. Now, please tell me what the |
| to hire people who handle well the roadblocks they | | | | possible solution is."The pessimistic crybaby most likely |
| encounter on- the-job. These roadblocks include failure, | | | | will respond by saying, "I don't know!"Then, you look the |
| rejection, not making a sale, not achieving a goal, or | | | | person in the eye as you nicely but firmly ask, "Well, if |
| someone giving the employee a hard time.HOW TO | | | | you did know the solution, what would it be?"In other |
| HIRE HARDY, RESILIENT EMPLOYEESSince you | | | | words, you are teaching the crybaby to do exactly |
| cannot ask non-work-related questions in a job | | | | what optimistic, objective adults do: Focus on solutions |
| interview, what can you do to hire | | | | - not on problems. Superstars in all walks of life invest |
| applicants who - when they encounter work | | | | the huge majority of their time focusing on solutions - |
| difficulties - readily pick themselves up, figure out how | | | | not on problems.In fact, you may be the first human |
| to do better next time, and move on.In fact, in my | | | | being who ever showed the pessimistic, upset |
| HOW WINNERS DO IT book and speeches, I | | | | crybaby how to handle roadblocks and difficulties like |
| emphasize, "The main difference between a winner | | | | an objective, optimistic adult.Note: You will not |
| and a loser is a winner picks himself up exactly one | | | | transform them by doing this only once. I discovered I |
| more time than a loser!"Question: So, how can you | | | | need to do this 10 or more times with a crybaby |
| spot an applicant who will "pick himself up exactly one | | | | before the person finally learns - at least in my |
| more time?"Solution: On the BEHAVIOR | | | | presence - to focus on solutions - not on complaining, |
| FORECASTER (TM) Test, we have two scales that | | | | blaming and moaning about problems.In the outcome, |
| help you predict which applicants handle obstacles well | | | | you help a crybaby transform into an adult. Plus, you |
| - | | | | help your company and yourself by transforming one |
| Subjective Reactions vs. Objective Reactions | | | | more employee into a more optimistic, "can-do," |
| Pessimism vs. OptimismOn the Subjective Reactions | | | | confident person.© Copyright 2005 Michael |
| vs. Objective Reactions scale, someone who scores | | | | Mercer, Ph.D.Michael Mercer, Ph.D., is a consultant, |
| low (i.e., Subjective Reactions) tends to be a person | | | | speaker, and founder of The Mercer Group, Inc. in |
| who gets upset, "bent out of shape," acts like a | | | | Barrington, Illinois. Dr. Mercer's "Abilities & Behavior |
| crybaby, or throws the adult version of a tantrum | | | | Forecaster (TM) " pre-employment tests are used by |
| when things do not go their way they like. In contrast, | | | | companies across North America. He has trained over |
| someone who scores high on this scale (i.e., Objective | | | | 5,000 managers in how to interview job applicants. Dr. |
| Reactions) tends to take difficulties in stride, figure out | | | | Mercer authored "Hire the Best -- & Avoid the Rest |
| solutions, and move ahead in a mature, adult-like | | | | (TM) " and also "Absolutely Fabulous Organizational |
| manner.On the Optimism scale, people who score low | | | | Change (TM) ". You can subscribe for free to his |
| (i.e., Pessimistic) love to complain, blame, and moan. In | | | | management e-newsletter at today and you can |
| contrast, applicants who score high on this scale (i.e., | | | | receive a 14-page Special Report entitled, "Hire |
| Optimistic) prove to be confident, self-responsibly, | | | | Productive, Profitable & Honest Employees". |